Pansexual Visibility & Undoing Heteronormativity

Pansexual Visibility & Undoing Heteronormativity

Cameron Airen

 

Pride was bittersweet this year. We are still devastated and grieving over the Orlando shooting of

50 people at Pulse, an LGBTQ night club, AND we continue to proudly celebrate who we are.

The celebration of LGBTQ feels even more important with the violence that recently happened.

Though greater strides have been made towards the acceptance of gay and queer people, we still

have a long way towards changing perceptions, beliefs, and the safety of LGBTQ people. I want

to acknowledge the intersections like race, gender, and disability that many gay or queer people

experience. Thus, the fight towards more acceptance and safety of being queer or gay is also a

fight to end all social oppressions.

 

In this post, I specifically want to talk about pansexualtity and heteronormativity. I’m focusing

on pansexuality because I am a pansexual, and pansexuals are hardly acknowledged and

represented. Today, being pansexual has a wider understanding than it did eleven years ago when

I was first identifying as one. I’m thrilled to see how much of the awareness and acceptance of

pansexuality has evolved though we still have a long way to go. Pansexuality is hugely

underrepresented in the media, and it’s still not taken seriously enough in society at large. We

need greater pansexual visibility and awareness of heteronormativity.

 

What Is Pansexuality?

 

First, I want to share what pansexuality means to me. Each pansexual can define what their

sexuality means, and I do not claim to speak for all pansexuals. For me, I define pansexual as

being attracted to multiple genders and/or being attracted to/fall in love with someone(s)

irrespective of gender. When I first heard the term pansexual, I heard it described as falling in

love with the person, not the gender, which resonated with me deeply.

 

To me, pansexuality differs from bisexuality because of “bi” meaning two, as in two genders. I

prefer to use pansexual because it acknowledges more than two genders that I could be attracted

to. I do want to acknowledge that not all bisexuals only define their sexuality within the binary,

but for my love of deconstructing language, I prefer to use pansexual. Sometimes, when my

sexuality pops up in conversation with someone who doesn’t seem to have an awareness of

pansexuality, then I usually identify as bisexual. I’m fine with bisexual, but it doesn’t feel like

the whole truth. Also, I don’t feel like I am attracted to both women and men because I’m not.

I’m not attracted to one being a woman or a man. I’m attracted to the person underneath. It may

sound like an ideal fantasy, but it’s true; my genuine attraction stems from the inside first and the

outside second.

 

Heteronormativity Erases Pansexuality

 

A big part of the fight to foster greater acceptance of and to keep LGBTQ folks alive is to

dismantle heteronormativity. Heteronormativity is deep seated in our society and we encounter

its presence in our everyday lives. In order to help end oppression and violence against queer

people, we must face the heteronormativity that we perpetuate. A huge part of this work involves

awareness, education, and action.

 

 

 

People are assumed to be heterosexual unless their perceived gender has people believing

otherwise. I don’t identify as “femme” but, sometimes, I present as more “femme,” and thus am

assumed to be heterosexual. Heteronormativity assumes that when I am with a man, I am

straight; it assumes heterosexual until proven otherwise. I’m not with a man because of my

heterosexual “nature.” I’m with him because I fell in love with a human being who happens to

“be” a man. I’m not going to walk around with a sign on my forehead that states “Pansexual,”

thus the heterosexual assumption is important to change.

 

Heteronormativity treats pan, gay, or bi sexuality as a spectacle. When my ex-girlfriend and I

would take neighborhood walks holding hands, people would drive or walk by staring and

smiling at us. Granted, we were a cute couple, but after a while, I started to feel like a spectacle.

This is twofold. On one hand, it was beautiful that people were responding positively to our love.

But, on the other hand, my relationship was not on display for other people’s pleasure (or

disgust). We lived in an open-minded neighborhood, so we rarely, if ever, encountered disgust or

negative reactions to displaying our affection for one another in public. But, because we lived in

an open-minded neighborhood, I was surprised that people were reacting (even though positive)

to us at all. If women being romantic with one another is normalized, then there wouldn’t be a

reaction from others at all.

 

No one blinks an eye when they see a couple they perceive to be heterosexual walking down the

street (at least in relation to sexuality/gender; racism, disability and other identities can still be a

factor). This is heteronormativity and heterosexual privilege. Not being aware of heterosexual

privilege perpetuates heteronormativity. When we perceive a couple to be heterosexual, we are

engaging in heteronormativity. We don’t actually know if the couple we perceive to be

heterosexual is actually heterosexual. We perceive a heterosexual couple to consist of a

“woman” and a “man,” but what if the woman or man is bisexual or pansexual? When we

perceive people as heterosexual, we are projecting our own social conditioning onto them

because of heteronormativity.

 

Also, heteronormativity tends to assume that if you’re pansexual, then you’re automatically

polyamorous. Polyamorous or monogamous, it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to be with both a

woman and a man at the same time to prove you’re pansexual. Being monogamous with a man

does not erase pansexuality either, but society treats it that way. A pansexual woman being in

relationship with a man does not all of a sudden make her heterosexual.

 

As a culture and society, we need to do a better job of unpacking heteronormativity. We can

unlearn the assumptions we make about other people’s sexuality based upon their physical

appearance. As pansexuals, we will not be erased. We are here; we are queer, and we’re not

going anywhere.

The Lack of Pansexual Representation Onscreen

 

Pansexuals are hugely underrepresented in film and television, which isn’t a surprise since

society is still catching up in understanding what pansexuality is, and even being introduced to

the term. Heteronormativity allows for writers and directors to create characters heterosexual

 

 

without questioning why they are creating a heterosexual character. Heteronormativity allows

most, if not all, of the characters in a film to be heterosexual and have its one token gay

character. If we didn’t live in a heteronormative world, then there wouldn’t be such a disparity,

heterosexual would not be the norm.

 

Pansexual and bisexual representation onscreen is rare. While we have more lesbian and gay

people onscreen than ever before, pansexuals and bisexuals pale in comparison… Can we say

that TV is doing a better job at queer representation? No doubt, we can. Films need to step up to

the plate! But, both television and film needs to greatly improve their representation of

pansexuals and bisexuals. The more we see pansexuals onscreen, the more pansexual will be

normalized as a sexual orientation. But, we can’t wait for the media to change, we need to start

now. It starts with deconstructing heteronormativity in our everyday lives. Notice the next time

you make a judgment (whether it’s in your own head or out loud) about someone’s sexuality…

 

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